Thursday, December 16, 2010

Jewelry Boutique and Cafe

Jewelry Boutique and Cafe
1520 W. Boy Scout Rd.
Hixson, TN 37343
(423) 847-1163

The topic of Chattanooga's Best Burger has always been a rather contentious one, the sort of thing food people get into knife fights over, and there are some very respectable contenders: Merv's, Tubby's, North Chatt Cat, and so on. It is with great pleasure that I announce that the crown I previously gave Merv's has been usurped. I have found the new Best Burger and, like many great things, it is slightly off the beaten path. I can't take full credit, however, because I had some help.

One day, my father called and told me he'd found the new Best Burger ("Better than Merv's!"), and insisted I go with him to "Cafe." Now, because I am the Master of Restaurants and Food and Everything ™, I assumed that he was leaving out part of the name. "Cafe what?" I kept asking him. "You mean City Cafe?" No, he insisted, just Cafe. We went around and around like that for about ten minutes.

It turns out the place really is just Cafe. The simplicity of the name is fitting; Jewelry Boutique and Cafe is about a straightforward as they come. It's nestled in a new, mostly-empty strip mall off Middle Valley Road, and it looks like most of the places around here that combine Southern dining with Southern shopping. It's neat and down-home inside, with hand-painted murals on the walls and quaint country decor. The staff is lovely and charming and friendly and kind, and their pictures should be featured prominently in the Wikipedia entry for Southern hospitality.

They've got a menu full of Southern food, including chicken and dumplings, meatloaf, and pulled pork, but I'll be honest with you: I never got past the burger. It's a 1/2 lb. burger, with 2 slices of cheese, fully dressed on a kaiser roll. It is $5.50 and comes with fries and a drink. There are no bells and whistles--there is no list of 50 novelty toppings or organic buffalo meat or your choice of 5 different sides of flavored grease or anything like that. It is just a damn good burger.

People, this burger is stupid good. I love burgers, as all true Americans do, and when I go out for one I am very selective. Just because you can get a burger anywhere doesn't mean you should get a burger anywhere. And the next time I get a craving for a real burger, like the kind I would lovingly craft for myself, I'm going to Cafe. It's a little out of the way, but I don't care, it's worth it.

If you didn't listen to anything else I said in 2010, listen to this: Go to Cafe. Get a cheeseburger. Buy some earrings. Be happy.

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