Kay's Kastles

Kay's Kastles is a dying breed: the old-fashioned, earnest ice cream parlor. There are no branded T-shirts or knowing winks. There are no gimmicky flavors of the month or walls of local art. This place is far removed from modern ice cream joints of Chattanooga's revitalized Downtown. It is nestled in the more rural reaches of Soddy Daisy, amongst the good people, and it still retains the characteristics that defined it in the mid-eighties.

Let's be clear: the staff hates you. They really, really do. They are, without question, some of the surliest people you will ever meet in food service. They hope you die; barring that, they'll grudgingly take your money and give you ice cream if they must. (How one can maintain a frowny face in a place like this I'll never know.)

The experience really takes me back. They've got kitschy ice cream decor (ice cream posters, ice cream signs, ice cream ceramics), old arcade machines, and a juke box. Remember the days when Pac-Man machines and ice cream cones were ubiquitous? Oh, happy days!

And be assured, Kay's Kastles makes one mean banana split.

There are hot dogs, sandwiches, and other things happening. But if the banana split is the ultimate measure of the ice cream parlor experience (and I believe it is) you should definitely check out Kay's Kastles. Avoid direct eye contact, ask no questions, and make no sudden movements and you'll be fine.